WOW. I just looked at the date of the last blog post I published and it was exactly 1 YEAR AGO this month. July 22nd of last year 2013. It's now July 31st 2014 and I can hardly believe tomorrow is August.
I have to say, I feel like a very different person than I was 1 year ago. I look very different too.
For starters I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with my first child. Most of my friends and family have already known for quite a while, but for some of you who have only known me for my blog might be surprised since I have gone MIA on social media and my blog for the past year. I'm due to have a baby BOY on September 18th and I couldn't be more excited and more happy with that reality. (What's cool is that my birthday falls on the 15th of September so I'm secretly wishing he comes a few days early and maybe we'll share a birthday :)
SO MANY people I know are pregnant!! It's really nuts. Bex from Bexlife is one week ahead of me or so, Ashley Horner just got pregnant, and one of the girls from PurelyTwins is two weeks behind me. And a bunch of other friends and aquaintences I know are pregnant.
I have to confess, for being a personal trainer and a yoga instructor, I have NOT been a good example AT ALL of a fit pregnancy. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I dropped all expectations of myself and I just surrendered to the process. Up until about week 20 I was really good about walking on a daily basis. I need to start that back up again. As far as eating goes, I've just eaten what's been available and I dropped all aspirations of meal planning etc. Life just got too busy and too complicated to worry myself sick about this meal planning hoopla. I'm more worried about health insurance than meal planning these days! But since I've got years of healthy eating habits behind me, some of those eating habits have carried over into my pregnancy since I've learned to love certain healthy foods. Nonetheless, I've probably eaten wayyy to much junk that is not justifiable in this pregnancy too.
Why did I stop blogging?
I very consciously decided to stop blogging 1 year ago for a few reasons.
#1. Unknown to many, I had a couple of miscarriages last year, one in May and the other was in October. After those two experiences I decided I no longer wanted to share my personal life with the world. On top of that, life was getting hard from a financial standpoint and to be frank I didn't have the desire to share those struggles with anyone, nor did I want to go on blogging as if life was normal, when it wasn't. I was dealing with a lot of changes and I needed privacy.
#2. I also decided that I didn't want to be apart of a selfie-obsessed culture that I was taking part in. I decided I needed to focus on my family, and what's most important-- and to me I realized that real life people are important, and real life experiences are important.
I think taking a 1 year break from blogging and the internet, helped open up another side of me. In the past year there have been so many things that have transformed me. Pregnancy was a huge one. Financial hardship has been another. I'm not sure how to describe how I've changed except to say that I feel stronger inside. I feel like there is more depth to my soul than before, somehow. It's weird to think about it that way, but true.
There are some other new changes too... I've gained WEIGHT! haha which is normal with pregnancy of course. I started this pregnancy weighing about 126lbs, and I now weight 161lbs! What a transformation that is in itself! I definitely don't fit into anything I used to be able to and I can see the cellulite in my thighs now that was never there before.
I'm also starting to get little stretch marks on the bottom of my belly. They are actually quite tolerable right now the way they are because they are small, and there's not very many yet. But considering that my baby has to grow double in weight over the next 7 weeks means I might be consumed in stretch marks by the time this is over! Oy vey.
So what's next?
Well as soon as I'm done having this baby, I will be on a mission to get my body back of course! Did you expect anything else from a person like me?;-)There's no way I'm letting myself go, not for one second. I am not the kind of person that is happy being overweight. Don't get me wrong, I am totally happy being pregnant but that's because I have a good reason for putting on weight and a little bouncy baby in my belly. After the baby is born though, there's no excuses, and I can't wait to feel that sweat running down my face again after a hard workout. That is one thing I miss terribly right now. I miss working out hard and getting that exercise HIGH from it. It makes you feel inconquerable, fearless and powerful. Can't WAIT to get back on that drug... ;D
I think I want to start sharing my journey again. I've learned now to accept myself in all of life's trials and circumstances and I want to share my journey because I've appreciated how much other women I know have shared theirs. It strengthens me to read their blogs and their lives. I hope maybe my journey will resonate with you too.